<舊文> 放過你自己

六四,我唔係為邊個組織搞悼念而悼念。點都要繼續去。
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其實,大部分人唔會真心想每年坐喺維園捱熱、捱雨。回憶、提醒自己千萬唔好唔記得六四呢件咁令人傷心嘅事。起碼我知道我唔想咁樣。

但一年又一年,我同唔少香港人一樣,每年自動自覺去維園捱熱。心裏都希望捱埋今年就唔駛再捱。結果係變天定平反都好,有個了斷就算,大家終於可以move on。

但始終,呢一個唔想捱熱,不想回憶、未敢忘記嘅願望,都係未實現。

我只希望有一日,共產黨會認錯,等我哋唔駛再同佢過唔去。咁樣未必有任何意義,但起碼大家都可以釋懷,亦唔需要老死不想往來。

血、淚,流夠亦不想再流。放過你自己,好讓我哋可以放過你喇,唔該。

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I think most of the pro-democratic people in Hong Kong don’t really want to mourn every year for those young people who died and got maimed in Beijing in ’89. At least I know I don’t.

But year after year, I, like so many of my fellow citizens, went to Victoria Park on the fourth and mourn. And remind ourselves to never forget this tragedy. We all wish that, “This year will be the last year we have to do this. Next year, the apology will be out, and we can finally move on.”

Well, it didn’t happen as we wished. For twenty three times, we were defeated by the reality. And we have to return to Victoria Park next Monday.

I just hope that the Communist Party will one day admit their fault. Then, we will not have to be its enemy. It might not mean anything, but at least all of us can _move the fuck on_.

Too much blood and tears had been spilled, even one more drop is too much. Please, elites, please admit that you are wrong, so that we can stop hating you. It’s not fun, for both of us, you know.

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